Knight of Death
by JPenn
Summary: James Diamond, Former member of Big Time Rush, Top Singer in Hollywood, Engaged to Kendall Knight. Found Dead. Rated M for Character Death. Past Kames/Established Cargan. Read/Review Pretty short though.


**Pairings: Past Kames, Established Cargan**  
><strong>Warnings: Suicide<strong>

_Kendall Knight__, former member of Big Time Rush. And for four years, him and James had been together since they were 17. Carlos and Logan decided to leave the band the moment they turned twenty, to pursue their own goals in each other's comfort and away from all the attention. To this very day they were the happiest couple in the world, something Kendall and James used to be. ___

_James had started his solo career the minute the two shorter boys left them, Kendall stayed to try and become a stay-at-home boyfriend. He wanted to be with James throughout the whole process. It was easy at first, but one can only be ignored and not say a word to anyone for so long. He just had enough of it, enough of all the pain he suffered through every single day. He needed to leave and move on with his life, just like everyone else._

_"Kendall please, let's talk this through.."_

_James begged, clinging onto the blonde's bicep as he continued to pack. He didn't understand why Kendall was leaving him over some stupid fight, he just wanted to live his dream right? There was nothing bad about becoming famous, and certainly nothing wrong with taking his boyfriend with him._

_"I'm done talking James, I've tried to talk you for a long time. But you just keep ignoring me, I'm not going to stay in a relationship where I feel ignored." Kendall replied, brushing the pretty boy's hand off his arm. He zipped up the last suitcase he had, carrying both of them in a struggle to hold his tears back. He couldn't take it anymore, James would just come home every night without even greeting him, and during the daytime he would have no room to talk or even just hang out with him. He was invisible, to the one he loved._

_"Kendall don't do this, I need you.."_

_"You don't need me James, you've gone two whole years without even spending a single hour with me. You're either too busy playing dress-up in your closet, on tour, playing at some restaurant and a whole bunch of other things. There's always something James, do you remember the last time we've talked for more than thirty minutes? At Logan and Carlos' wedding, and you were asking for sex. I-I can't do it anymore." Kendall replied, letting himself break down for a while. His voice was uneasy, like he just wanted everything in the world to stop._

_"I'll do better, I can quit my job and-"_

_"I-I'm not going to get in between you and your job. This was -is your dream James, not Carlos, Logan's or mine. You live the way you want." and with that, Kendall walked out of the door, not even bothering to look back at the one he had just broken. 'Goodbye James, I'm sorry.' was his last thought, before walking into the elevator. Sighing sadly  
>as it closed with a 'ding.'<br>_

* * *

><p>That was just a few weeks ago, James was standing in front of the Garcia Residence at this very day. Hoping to find at least some level of comfort and happiness with his best friends. For the last week, James had been blaming himself for what happened. And seriously, who wouldn't? He had been acting the jerk in all of this, while Kendall silently suffered each time they failed to interact with each other. Even Kelly could see their relationship slowly fading away, and Gustavo must have as well. He had been going easy on James before the break-up, never shouting at him but instead becoming nice. Everyone but him was aware of their complications, but no one had the guts to tell him straight in the face.<p>

Moments later, a man with bronze skin and raven hair opened the door. He was wearing a dark blue hoodie, and obviously still in his PJs. The Latino smiled as soon as they made eye-contact, calling out to his husband from inside the house to meet him at the door. James returned the smile with a genuine one, something he hadn't done ever since Kendall left him.

"James!" Logan greeted, running up to the pretty boy and giving him a tight hug before being pulled away by Carlos. "Babe, don't be jealous."

"I'm not." Carlos replied, giving James one of his famous Garcia-Family hugs that each of them received often when they were still in the band. Sometimes James missed just hanging out with all of them, but there was always something getting in the way of him and his friends. It ranged from work, stress or just plain old fear. He was afraid to reconnect with his old friends, not knowing how they see him as a person anymore. But it was heart-warming to know that the new couple still treated him the same.

"It's nice to see you after so long." Logan cheered, motioning him to come into the warm and homely house. The inside was very clean and nice, the walls painted white and red in a very creative pattern. The furniture remained the same colour, with the exception of the black couch and one black swivel chair near the kitchen. James had agreed to help them renovating the old Diamond Residence, even giving them the house as a wedding present. He didn't even recognize it anymore, it was very...Cargan.

"I-I need to talk to you guys about something." James began, his heart already racing in a way he didn't feel comfortable in. How was he supposed to tell the couple that he was feeling suicidal and he needed help? When he looked at the joyous emotion on Carlos' face, his mind and heart went into a battle. His mind telling him to keep it a secret, not to ruin the happy couple's mood on such a beautiful day. But his heart had been screaming at him to tell them everything, his guilt and depression was ebbing away at his soul. He just wanted to end everything, find peace in the embrace of the cold afterlife.

But he knew he had to do it, to keep himself from doing anymore harm to his heart. He was about to confess, when a small child walked into the room. It was Logan and Carlos' adopted baby, Jamie. At first, he was a little weirded out that Carlos decided to name the baby by his female-equal name. But once Logan explained how much James meant to him as a friend, his heart grew and exploded inside his chest at the sentiment. They were best friends after all, so it shouldn't have had that effect.

"Carlitos, will you take James outside with Katie to play?" Logan questioned, pointing to the fifteen year old outside the yard with a few kids. Kendall's Mom, Jennifer. And Katie had decided to leave Hollywood as well, knowing that Kendall and James were going to be safe with each other. Looks like they were wrong. Because James was sitting here in Logan and Carlos' house, while Kendall was out there in the mean streets of whatever state. Probably finding someone else to fill in the void.

"Okay, let's go Jamie." Carlos replied happily, giving Logan a quick peck on the lips before the genius returned to him. He didn't want to ruin that happiness that Carlos and Logan felt whenever they thought of him, he wanted him to be remembered as he was -as he is right now. Their best friend, who had no problems whatsoever and was living a perfect life. His facade was breaking however, the act was too much to put up. Before Logan could say another word, he just shook his head. Mouthing a 'Nothing' at Logan's question. He got up from his seat, running out into the field and rushing inside the limousine.

* * *

><p>James had returned to California the next day, without even muttering a goodbye to either one of the happily wedded couple. His guilt had consumed his mind and his heart, the thought of even telling his best friends gave him a pounding headache followed by the sudden urge to vomit. He was disgusted at himself, when Kendall left him he could've chased after him. Forcefully watch him quit his job and finally be with him, but he didn't. The smallest, and most insignificant part of him wanted Kendall to leave so he could be free. Free to do whatever he wanted without getting a bad name.<p>

He stumbled into the bathroom, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes as he gazed upon himself in the broken mirror. Traces of blood were still on it from the night of the break-up, where he was facing the stage of anger when it came to loosing something. Right now, he was very much over denial and was accepting facts. Kendall wasn't going to come back to him, and if the roles were reversed he wouldn't either. He wasn't himself anymore, he wasn't the confident James Diamond who talked to people about everything, he became someone he hated. Someone who didn't speak to anyone for help, someone who didn't bother noticing the ones that truly cared for him. Someone who wasn't James Diamond.

"I'm sorry Kendall." James whispered, taking the bottle of pills and popping it into his mouth. The effects were already slowly starting to kick in, his eyelids shutting heavily as soon as he chugged the pills down with water. His stomach ached at the amount of pills he had taken, but it felt normal to feel the pain. He had been feeling the same way ever since he was left for dead, his body used to the constant aches.

James closed his eyes, slipping into the cold water-filled bathtub feeling refreshed. If he was going to go through with this, he at least had to prepare himself for the cold and freezing embrace. He relaxed for a minute, his mind and heart shutting down as the cold water creeped onto his tan skin. He could feel the whole world disappear from the corners of his eyes as he sank deeper into the bath. He shut his eyes once more, for the last time. It didn't take long for his mind to shut down completely, and his head to slide into the water. Cold moisture entered his nose and lungs, drowning his insides without a single bit of resistance from him. His lungs stopped working, his heart stopped beating. His mind stopped thinking. James stopped hurting.

James Diamond, richest celebrity in Hollywood, Former Member of Big Time Rush. Found dead.

**Review if you can, because I can't be bothered to ask for some...:(**


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